A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate
by ToastWeaselofDOOM
Summary: [Harry Potter AU.] Hogwarts graduate Elphaba Thropp is more than ready to begin her yearlong internship at the Ministry of Magic. However, the M.O.M. may or may not have forgotten to mention that she will be sharing both her internship and her apartment with an old Hogwarts foe. [Rating for language; rating may increase to M. Booksical. Eventual Gelphie. Updates Fridays.]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I've been on a bit of a Wicked kick recently. Oops. And I got to thinking what a Harry Potter/Wicked crossover would be like. It starts off at the rising action of the story, but I promise you will get back story to everything and all that good stuff.

This MAY or may not turn out to be Gelphie, depending on what the muses decide they want to do.

Enjoy!

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_A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 1  
_

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The apartment the Ministry of Magic had procured for Elphaba for the duration of her yearlong internship was on the thirteenth and top floor of a Wizard-only apartment building. To Muggles, apparently, it looked like an office building, and they walked by it without a care in the world. To the Magical folk, however, it was a hodge podge of only-slightly crumbling brick and mortar, 1920s era at the base with an upward progression of different kinds of materials, each new layer of materials signifying a new era in which yet another few tenements had been added to the otherwise slightly rickety structure. The entire building looked seemingly to held together by spit and chewing gum; Elphaba had a strong feeling it was instead held up by several decades worth of reinforcement charms, layered upon each other until they formed a magical backbone as strong as any Muggle I-beam.

The apartment, naturally, had no elevator, or dumbwaiter, or anything capable of speeding the thirteen floor ascent to the Ministry-rented apartment. Thankfully, the apartment came furnished and Elphaba had very little with her. A good percentage of her things, her books and most of her Muggle clothing, still resided in the room of her father's house in Cardiff. Elphaba honestly did not know if any of it still existed—her Muggle priest of a father had probably burned it all the moment she left for the Ministry of Magic, despite her promises she would be back to claim it at some point later. But Elphaba had her wand, and her mother's wand, and the little green bottle her mother had always treasured. That was all she really needed, although cards for the local Wizarding and Muggle libraries would be mostly certainly procured at Elphaba's earliest convenience. Therefore, with very little possessions and seven years climbing stairs at Hogwarts, the thirteen floors came relatively easy, although the last five flights or so made her calves burn.

The door to Apartment 13C directly faced the stairs as the young green witch climbed the last flight and stepped onto the landing. She fished in her bag for her key (why were there keys when the doors could be opened with a wand tap? Pretense, Elphaba supposed) and slid it into the lock. The door opened smoothly and Elphaba let herself in. Naturally, as the apartment was Wizarding, an Undetectable Extension Charm had been placed on the rooms, allowing for a much bigger venue than the small apartment complex displayed. It was reasonably well lit with Everlasting Fire sealed in glass globes that either floating overhead or were attached to the walls. There was a small kitchenette, an ancient-style icebox and oven, an attached sitting room with two drab couches and an equally drab coffee table, and there was-

An ear-splitting scream wrenched through the air, causing Elphaba to drop her bag and instantly direct her wand towards the noise. She was met with a similarly drawn wand, robes of eye-watering pink, and the slack jaw of one familiar blond Hufflepuff with bright blue eyes and perfect skin.

"Galinda Upland?" Elphaba seethed, her dark eyebrows settling down into a scowl.

"That's right, Miss Elphaba Thropp," the blond responded, not lowering her wand even a hairsbreadth. "Now would you please explain _what you doing in my apartment?"_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** So I got a good response on Tumblr, and the muses agree with me, so I guess I will continue with it. Enjoy everyone!

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**A Twisted Apartment Assignment of Fate -** Chapter 2

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_"That's right, Miss Elphaba Thropp," the blond responded, not lowering her wand even a hairsbreadth. "Now would you please explain _what you doing in my apartment?"

.

.

.

Elphaba blinked at the question as the pieces clicked together and she understood intrinsically. The Senior Undersecretary _had _mentioned a roommate, briefly, in the long-winded sphiel about Ministry of Magic ethical codes and Apparition Rules and Regulations. But Galinda Upland? Her roommate? The young green witch could barely believe it. Galinda, working for the Ministry of Magic? The girl could barely string a logical and complete sentence together!

"Your apartment?" Elphaba asked in a cold sneer, her wand still trained directly on Galinda's perfect face. "Are you sure you did not get lost on the way to Diagon Alley, little Miss Perfect? Did you Apparate wrong? Or did one of your little friends perform a Confundus Charm on you? Not that it would have much effect, you're already brainle—"

Elphaba broke off, narrowly avoiding a jinx that Galinda hurled her way. The jinx pounded into the wall behind her and cracked it something fierce.

"I HAVE A KEY!" the young blond witch thundered, shaking from head to pink-heeled toe. Elphaba wondered briefly how she walked in Muggle heels _and _Wizarding robes. It seemed like a dangerous combination. Her thoughts were interrupted by Galinda's continued angry yelling. "—WORKING FOR THE MINISTER OF MAGIC, I WILL NOT TOLERATE—"

"You, working for the Minister?" Elphaba asked, cutting across her tirade. "What will you be doing, sweeping the floor with that useless mop of curls?"

"No!" Galinda shrieked. "I happen to have an internship in the Office of the Undersecretary!"

Elphaba's blood ran cold.

No. It couldn't be.

"What a coincidence," she sneered, "so do I."

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After tempers cooled enough for marginally civil discussion (i.e. Galinda stormed out to go back to the Ministry to try and kick the green witch out of 'her apartment'), Elphaba elected to move her marginal supply of possessions into her room. Well, it was not her room by assignment- it was simply the only room left. Galinda had taken the larger one, leaving Elphaba with a virtual shoebox. Elphaba hated to think of what the room had been _before _the Undetectable Extension Charm was added to it. Probably a broom cupboard, or something as equally tiny.

Still, there was enough room for a bed, a bedside table, and a tiny closet, which suited Elphaba just fine, because she only had three sets of robes and a couple pieces of Muggle clothing. A tiny window looked over the street below, and there was just enough window ledge to form a seat to curl up in and watch the people walk by underneath, if Elphaba was so inclined. Which she was not, generally, but it was the idea that counted.

She looked around the room, unsure or not if she would be able to fit her bookcases from home if she made them Appear. It was worth a shot, she decided. If they did not fit, she could simply send them back. She fetched her wand from the bed and stood in the middle of the room, eyes closed, drawing the magic up from her center and feeling it rush through her body and through her fingertips to her wand as she spoke the enchantment.

_"Mirgro Bookshelv—"_

"I see you've just moved on in."

The interrupted spell broke. Elphaba spun around to face the voice, her wand raised. It was only Galinda. She was standing in the doorway of her room, her arms over her chest, frowning. Elphaba, a bit reluctantly, lowered her wand.

"What?"

Galinda sniffed. "I couldn't convince the Undersecretary."

"Obviously, or I assume a member of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement would be here to escort me off the premises," responded Elphaba cuttingly. "How does it feel, not getting your way? Does it hurt to be mortal just like the rest of us?"

"Shut up, you mean green thing!" Elphaba had made Galinda shake again, and it was obvious she was trying to contain herself. Elphaba cackled. "We obviously need to set up some ground rules here!"

"Set up away," Elphaba said airily, having no intention of following any rules set down by Galinda if they inconvenienced her in any way.

"Rule One, don't talk to me!"

"Why would I want to?"

"Rule Two, stay in your room and I'll stay in mine!"

Elphaba looked at her sharply. "We _will _be sharing the common areas, yes?" Galinda blanched, obviously not expecting any opposition. She got her way far too much, the green witch decided. She would have to fix that at every opportunity.

"…If we must," Galinda finally allowed, then continued on as if Elphaba had not flustered her. "Rule Three! Don't talk to my friends when they are over!"

"Again, why would I want to?"

"Rule FOUR!" the blonde said over her, reacting to Elphaba's needling just as planned. "We're each responsible for our own food!" Elphaba nodded. That sounded reasonable. She would not trust Galinda not to poison any food she made for her, anyway. "Rule Five. After ten is quiet time! No loud music, all friends should leave, if the wireless is on, make it quiet!"

The green witch gave the blond a withering look. Was she really that stupid? "You do realize there are charms for that sort of thi—?"

"I need my beauty sleep!" Galinda interrupted her. "Quiet time after ten!"

Elphaba sighed. It was not like she made a lot of noise anyway. "Very well. Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of at this moment."

"But I'm sure you'll think of something," Elphaba said sarcastically, "if you even can think."

Galinda huffed and left for her room. The green witch sighed. Living with her for a year was _not _going to be fun. She was not yet certain if she would prefer this or the ministerial ranting of her father and sister. She knew how to deal with her father and sister. Galinda was, for the most part, an enigma. Elphaba's only experience with the blond had been at Hogwarts, when they had shared several of the same N.E.W.T. level classes in their last two years. Be that as it may, they had rarely shared conversation; Galinda preferred to _talk _in subversive rumors and snide commentary about the other's verdigris, while Elphaba chose to ignore everyone except the professors. (How Galinda Upland had been sorted into Hufflepuff, Elphaba did not know. From what she understood of the blonde, she though she would be much more at home in Slytherin, where being nasty seemed to be, for the most part, in everyone's genetic code.)

The green witch had though she would be done with the blonde after Hogwarts. Apparently, though, this was not the case.

If Elphaba believed, she would say that God was having fun with her. But because she did not, she simply shook her head and returned her attention to making her bookshelves Appear.

Galinda was, for now, not her problem.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Question, loyal readers. Would you rather have short chapters and updates every Friday, or longer chapters and updates whenever I can find the time?

Enjoy!

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**A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 3**

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_Dearingest darlingest Momsie and Popsicle,_

_You should definitely consider stopping the donations to the Minister instantaneously! I have never in my years dealt with such atrocitification! I am _sharing_ my internship_** and** _promised lodgings with another girl! The internship was supposed to be a singular deal! As was the apartment! The apartment is in an absolutely horrificus building that barely looks safe to live in! Despite the fact that it is a Wizarding Only establishment, you would think the Ministry could put us up in better lodging!_

_ And my roommate is none other than Miss Elphaba Thropp! Yes, the Slytherin girl from Cardiff I told you so much about during my time at Hogwarts! She is positively ascribic! I have never in my entire life met someone so rude! She threatened to curse me the moment I saw her!_

_I simply cannot believe I am being forced to live with her for an entire year! I tried to talk to the Undersecretary, but she simply would not reassign me! I do believe you should have a talk with the Minister and get this situation dealt with. _

_Of course, I will rise above the matter and flourish at the Ministry and gain a high-ranking position in the Ministry—or, if possible, meet a nice Auror or politician. We shall see!_

_Your darlingist daughter,_

_Galinda_

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_Nessie;_

_I met with Undersecretary Morrible this morning and have settled into the Ministry-offered apartment. I am to share both the internship and the apartment with Miss Galinda Upland. I'm certain you know the one. I'm certain this pairing with provide ample opportunity for both amusement and frustration._

_I hope your sixth year at Hogwarts is fruitful. Should you need any help in your N.E.W.T. Level classes, send an owl my way and I will do my best to assist you. Please give Nanny my love, and Shell if you believe he deserves it._

_Your sister,_

_Elphaba_

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_My dearest Shenshen and Pfanee;_

_I am being forced to room with Miss Elphaba Thropp for the duration of my internship! Yes, _the_ Miss Elphaba Thropp! I simply cannot believe it! I do not believe I can stand to see her hideous verdigris or ratty clothes for long! (Not to mention her awful attitude and pension for constant literary stimulation!) It is simply horrendificous!_

_ Please, girls, fly to my aid! Perhaps with the two of you I can force her out of both the apartment and the internship in one foul swoop! Meet me for coffee tomorrow at 10AM at our usual place to discuss the particulars!_

_Galinda xo_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Three orders of business before the chapter.

**1)** Updates will be on Fridays unless college eats my life.

**2)** A lot of people said they'd rather have Elphaba in Ravenclaw. I totally understand where you are coming from, but I have my own reasons for Sorting Elphaba into Slytherin. Actually, after the chapter, if you care to take a gander, I'm going to post an explanation of WHY I think she is more of a Slytherin than a Ravenclaw. Your mileage, of course, may vary. Personal opinions and such. It is not going to make a huge issue in this fic, as this fic is post-Hogwarts and it will just be used as identifies if at all.

**3) WARNING:** This chapter includes domestic violence! Read at your own risk!

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_A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 4_

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**Sixteen Years Previous**

A small toddler with cream skin and a shock of silky black hair sat in a high chair as a very-pregnant woman stirred away at a small cauldron that bubbled over a small gas stove. The toddler was playing with an ovular piece of glass, holding it up to catch the traces of afternoon light in the small kitchen and makes pleased noises at the ensuing refraction.

The woman, the child's mother and undoubtedly a witch, paid the child no mind, focusing with single minded intensity of the cauldron in front of her. She checked the potions book floating at eye level to her left, and then added a pinch of something powdered. The potion shone for a brief second, then settled down to the color of parchment. Satisfied, the woman reached up for a small vial, but was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

The door slammed, making the tiny cottage house shake. The clomp of boots on the worn wooden floors was deafening. The woman looked up in fright as her husband burst into the room, dressed in what would be considered his ministerial best, had it not been mussed. The man had a deranged and angry gleam in his eye as he snatched his wife's thin arm and pulled her towards him.

"You've been screwing that street trash Turtle Heart behind my back!" he exclaimed thunderously, making the woman quail a bit and the toddler in the high chair pause.

"Frex, please!" the man's wife begged, trying to free her arm from her husband's iron grasp. "You're talking nonsense!"

"Both adultery and lying are sins before the eyes of God, Melena!" Frex roared. "How many other times have you sinned?! You already put distance between and Him with your blasphemous witchcraft! Must you add others—"

"We've had this discussion before!" Melena exclaimed, tugging at her wrist. "I can't help that I was born—"

"A freak!"

"A witch!" Melena said firmly. "Turtle Heart understands, why can't you?"

"So you _have _been seeing him!" Frex exclaimed, victorious.

"Like you haven't!" Melena snapped. "Don't think I don't know, Frex!"

The minister pulled away as if stung—and he was. There was a mild Stinging Jinx behind Melena's words, unintentional and non-verbal, but welcome as it freed her arm from Frex's iron grasp. The two stared at each other, Frex looking like he'd been forced to drink sour milk. Then Melena leapt, or more like lunged like a breaching whale, for her wand. Her husband, realizing what she was trying to do, grabbed for it.

A loud and expanse of light flung the two apart. A curse or jinx (nobody knows to this date exactly what it was), that was intended for Frex missed by a hairsbreadth, ricocheted off the pots hanging from ceiling, and struck the toddler sitting in the high chair. The child seemed unaffected and watched her parents panic, because even as they watched, their daughter started to turn green.

The parents had their daughter looked at by the best Healers imaginable. Spell after spell after countercurse after potion was tried to reverse the damage. Frex prayed day and night, performing several exorcisms on his young daughter.

Nothing helped. Spells and potions did nothing. Holy water made the child blister and burn. Despite the best efforts of her parents, young Elphaba Thropp remained unnaturally and unequivocally _green_.

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading! If you care about why I put Elphaba in Slytherin, read below!

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**Sorting Elphaba**

I actually struggled myself for a very long time to place Elphaba. I wavered between Ravenclaw and Slytherin for a long time, but I finally placed her in Slytherin. And here's where I'm going to tell you why! (Your mileage, of course, may vary. I personally believe Elphaba would have been a Hat Stall or a Near Hat Stall. But I digress.)

Ravenclaws are of (Songs) Ready mind, wit, and have a desire to learn + (Pottermore) pride intelligence, wit, wisdom, creativity, originality, and individuality.

Slytherins are (Songs) Cunning, loyal to their Housemates, and use any means to achieve their ends + (Pottermore) favor traditionalism, resourcefulness, cunning, ambition, leadership qualities, self-preservation, determination, cleverness/intelligence, fraternity, and a desire for power.

Let me make it clear here that Slytherins are NOT evil, just many who strive to make a difference or who want something tend to be ambitious, determined, and have other Slytherin characteristics. (More on this later.)

**(1)** Elphaba has, no question, Ravenclaw intelligence, individuality, and wit in spades. But, both by the book(s) and the musical, she does not show much creativity or originality. Her cause is essentially hijacked off of Dr. Dillamond's research, experiences as an Animal, and subsequent death (books)/imprisonment (musical). Creatively speaking, Elphaba is rather bland. Her spells are for purpose, not for show, and they get the job done. Which leads to how I beleive Elphaba would fare better in Slytherin.

**(2)** Elphaba shows resourcefulness, cunning, ambition, leadership qualities, self-preservation, determination, cleverness/intelligence, fraternity, and, to some degree, a desire for power.

(2a) Elphaba is resourceful-she uses what she has. Instead of Magicking up a Glinda-esque bubble, she Magicks (consciously or not) a broom found in the attic; in the Musical, instead of Magicking Nessa herself, she Magicks Nessa's shoes, again using something that was already there.

(2b) Elphaba is ambitious and determined. She wants to make a difference in the world, and she will do it even if she has to face down all of Oz and the Wizard to do it. She takes on Oz and the Wizard, alone, to do what is right. Her ambition for power is so she can do good.

(2c) Elphaba has leadership qualities. In the books, she becomes the leader of the "gang" of friends. Avaric, Tibbet, Crope, and Boq all get pulled in to her passion for the Animal cause over the summer, and she generally calls the shots. In both the musical and the book, she acquires the respect of the Monkeys and they look to her as their leader-not Chistery, who is arguable the actual leader of the monkies.

(2d) Elphaba has a strong sense of fraternity in both the book(s) and the musical. She takes care of her own. Her main concern in the musical at the end is Glinda, of whom she is fiercely protective of in the books. She worries about how Chistery might loose his voice for good if he does not speak. Out of the entire class of Dillamond, when she Magicks the class, she does not (consciously) Magick Fiyero. In the books, she worries about the safety of Fiyero and she hides her work from him to keep him safe.

(2e) Elphaba has, for the most part, a strong sense of self-preservation. She knows when she needs to get out of the Emerald City at the end of Act 1 of the musical. She knows, in the musical, when it is time to 'surrender' because if her plan does not work then, she will not have another opportunity to be 'killed' and when she runs into the Gale Force, they really WILL kill her.

(2f) Elphaba is, as stated earlier, intelligent. Very much so.

**(3)** The Sorting Hat takes the Sortee's opinion into account. Elphaba grew up being told by her father that she was basically the scum of the earth and she was destined for the Underworld the moment she died. (This is shown more in the books than the musical; in the musical, it is stated her father just hates her.) If one grows up listening to that, they will, to some degree, believe it true. Elphaba constantly says through the books that she has no soul and considers herself wicked and heartless, etc. In the HP world, it is obvious where everyone thinks the 'bad guys' should go-Slytherin. It is my opinion that 11 year old Elphaba asked for Slytherin because she deemed herself 'bad' or 'evil' and therefore belong in a House with her supposed wicked peers.

This is, of course, where we get to the slippery slope of 'is Elphaba evil' which is where the whole 'Slytherins are evil' dichotomy comes from. Elphaba was not really evil-she was just ambitious. She was PAINTED as evil/Wicked by the Wizard and Morrible, and it stuck because (a) she let it and (b) because, at some level, Elphaba believed she was wicked.

This is kind of a tangent, but I'm just making clear that I did NOT Sort Elphaba simply because she was a 'bad guy'. I Sorted her into Slytherin because she had a LOAD of the characteristics of a Slytherin. And she 'goes bad' because she wants to make a difference in the world, not because she is inherently evil.

HOPE THAT HELPS CLEAR THINGS UP. The whole Slytherin/Hufflepuff thing does not really make a huge thing in my fic, as this is post-Hogwarts and in the real world, that kind of stuff doesn't really matter...which is why, generally, it is not mentioned. Elphaba just uses it to describe G(a)linda because, for the longest time, she just knew G(a)linda as 'that Hufflepuff that talks shit about me', until Elphaba bothers to retain her name...and I don't want to identify G(a)linda forever as That Perky Blonde, so ex-Hufflepuff identifiers it is.

**TL;DR:** I thought long and hard about sorting Elphaba, eventually putting her in Slytherin because that is where I felt she fit most of the characteristics.


	5. Chapter 5

**A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 5**

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After about two weeks of trials, tribulations, and several wit-induced fits of temper, Elphaba and Galinda fell into what could seem to outsiders as a normal routine.

Elphaba rose at dawn, mostly out of habit from years of getting ready before her roommates at Hogwarts got up. She would quickly claim the single bathroom so she could clean herself with oils and spells (her mother's curse had not only changed her skin tone but had also made water burn and blister her skin) and brush her teeth. About the time she would finish, Galinda would get up, and Elphaba would let the very grouchy pre-shower, pre-coffee blonde take control of the bathroom for the rest of the morning.

'Let' was a loose term. Relinquishing control of the bathroom was a more accurate way of describing what Elphaba did. The first two mornings the green witch had spent inordinate amounts of time in the bathroom doing absolutely nothing besides wasting time to spite Galinda. The first time Galinda has just been mad and imposed rules about bathroom time limits. After the second time, when Elphaba blatantly ignored the rule and it became obvious the green witch was doing it on purpose, Elphaba came home from acquiring library cards to discover her entire room had been covered with a viscous green slime. The slime was unable to be Vanished, Scoured, or Cleaned away, leaving Elphaba having to clean it up with her bare hands. Needling Galinda was fun, but not worth the night of de-sliming her bedding, clothing, and books. So Elphaba did her time in the bathroom, then relinquished the bathroom to her roommate so she could spend her allotted two hours taking a shower, rubbing herself down with a medicine-cabinet worth of lotions and skin care products, and doing her hair and makeup.

In these two hours Galinda spent in the bathroom, Elphaba would make her own breakfast (which included two mugs, one of instant coffee and one of instant oatmeal) and would consume it while skimming The Daily Prophet. Then the dirty dishes would be cleaned with magic and put away; then Elphaba would dress, braid her hair, and pack a lunch that almost always consisted of sardines and crackers. Most of the time, Elphaba was just picking up her bag and heading out the door when Galinda emerged from the bathroom in a lurid pink dressing gown at eight-thirty.

Despite Elphaba's early start, they normally arrived at the Ministry at the same time. Elphaba walked to work. Galinda Apparated. They generally, by some bizarre twist of karma, had to ride the elevator down to the first floor together—although Elphaba soon began to take the stairs as it was only one flight down from the Atrium to the floor that housed the Minister for Magic and Support Staff, and it was one less time she had to see Galinda's simpering face during the day.

Their desks, infuriatingly, faced each other, in the small reception parlor of the Office of the Junior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic. The Junior Undersecretary was a man named Chuffrey, who was nice enough, although he spoke more to Galinda than Elphaba, which the green witch saw more as an aversion to her verdigris than an indication of Galinda's supposed superiority at the office. Galinda, of course, thought otherwise.

The hours were whittled away writing letters at the Undersecretary's bequest and dictation, filing correspondence and signed orders, writing and sending memos, and, occasionally, taking notes at one of the Undersecretary's meetings. Lunch for Elphaba was spent at her desk; Galinda would go out with friends. Elphaba would use this hour of blissful freedom from her irritating roommate to catch up on her reading. Then, work would resume for several more hours, until at five when it was time to leave. Galinda left as soon as the clock struck five, as if being in the office for one second longer would burn her skin like water did Elphaba.

Said green witch, unlike her roommate, took her time in leaving, making certain her notes were filed away correctly and desk were in order for the next day before packing her things up in her battered briefcase. She would leave every day with a curt nod to Mister Chuffrey and would ride the lift back up to the Atrium, where she would Apparate up to the street above. From there, she would either walk home or to the local library to return or check out books. On Wednesdays she visited the Wizarding library. On Fridays, she first visited the Muggle library and then the Muggle grocery store, where she picked up her meager groceries—coffee, oatmeal, apples, crackers, sardines, tuna— and returned home.

Her quests into the Muggle world were spent under the guise of a charm that hide her skin color from the Muggles, but made her skin progressively crawl, itch, and then burn painfully over the course of two hours. She could only stand it for that long. Elphaba could have gone only to a Wizarding grocery and gotten books at the Wizarding library, but her trips into Muggle London allowed her for a chance to take a break from the Wizarding world and forget all about her roommate, her internship, and magic altogether. It was a rather exhilarating, freeing experience that Elphaba could only replicate when getting lost in books of fiction. Besides, Muggle groceries were, for some strange reason, cheaper than Wizarding ones.

Upon Elphaba's return home on most days, she would either put away her groceries while skirting a potion-mixing Galinda, or she would head directly to her room where she sequestered herself for the rest of the evening. It had not started out like this—Elphaba had put in several appearances in the living room for the first couple of days—but she found that Galinda favored obnoxious radio shows and had an even more obnoxious musical taste. There was only so much of Celestina Warbeck one could take every evening, and Elphaba found she was only prepared to endure it for the fifteen minutes it took for her to eat dinner (Galinda had added another rule after the first week: no food in the rooms). The wireless went on until Galinda went to bed at ten, and Galinda often had (obnoxious and noisy) company over, so Elphaba had taken the measures of silencing charms on her doors and walls. The spells allowed her read and sleep in silence, which seemed ironic to her as it had been Galinda that had insisted on quiet times.

The forced coexistence the two Hogwarts graduates had obtained might have remained static for the remainder of the year, had it not been for a series of Incidents that began shortly into the third week of their cohabitation.

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**A/N:** Reviews are nice, but not essential to my continuing survival. (Might convince me to write more quicker, though.)


	6. Chapter 6

**A Surprise Apartment of Fate - Chapter 6**

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_The forced coexistence the two Hogwarts graduates had obtained might have remained static for the remainder of the year, had it not been for a series of Incidents that began shortly into the third week of their cohabitation._

* * *

It started with Elphaba's things going missing.

First, on Monday, it was her mugs, which made it impossible for the green witch to eat breakfast. She searched the entire apartment without finding even a shard of her ceramics. Grumpy and coffee deprived, Elphaba waited until Galinda emerged from the bathroom to question her on the disappearance of the mugs.

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about," Galinda told the taller witch as the former Hufflepuff stirred enough sugar and creamer into her coffee to give a small child a sugar-induced seizure. "Are you sure you did not accidently Vanish them?"

"I'm certain I would remember that," Elphaba replied testily. "I was thinking maybe your idiotic friends took them as some sort of sophomoric prank."

"Shenshen and Pfanee would never do such a thing!" Galinda exclaimed. "How dare you accuse them of such an atroscitification!"

Elphaba pinched the bridge of her nose. She was really going to have to figure out a way to fix Galinda's skewed vocabulary. It was slowly driving her insane.

"Fine," she said curtly, not having time for this. "If you find them, please put them back in the cabinet."

Galinda smiled—it was obviously fake, which irked Elphaba even more—and said in a falsely cheery voice, "Certainly!"

Elphaba's mugs did not surface for the rest of the week, and she was forced to buy new ones so she did not waste money having to buy breakfast each morning.

Those mugs, within two days, also vanished, along with a sizeable amount of Elphaba's lunch and dinner materials.

"Perhaps we have a poltergeist!" Galinda said the afternoon after Elphaba had discovered the shared kitchen cabinets to be devoid of her tuna, sardines, and apples. "Ooh, I learned a spell in Charms for this! Pesky Pipski Posky Poltergeisti!" She flicked her wand. Nothing happened, leaving Elphaba very unimpressed.

"I knew you were a half-wit, but I didn't think you were _this _airheaded," the green witch commented cruelly.

Galinda seemed to take offense to her comment, and flounced out of the apartment with her hair curlers still in. Elphaba got a good chuckled out of that. Two days later, however, Galinda was the one laughing as the taller woman's closet suddenly and quite inexplicably became infested with moths. Elphaba could not prove Galinda was the one who had put them there, but she had a hunch. The months multiplied by three every time Elphaba tried to Vanish them. Obviously the moths had been Spelled, and Elphaba knew that Galinda had been rather proficient in her Charms O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. Not quite up to Elphaba's Outstanding, but any idiot with an Exceeds Expectations could have conjured such a swarm.

Unable to Vanish the moths, Elphaba was forced to abandon her room for the night, but not after she had opened the window and set a wick fueled by cedar oil burning to convince the moths their new and temporary domicile was all but that—temporary. So the green witch grudgingly relocated to the living room, where she was forced to endure to Galinda's insufferable radio shows—and Galinda's moth-induced banshee like shrieks—for the rest of the night. The radio shows she could deal with—Galinda's theatrical mock-terror, however…

At least Elphaba could take a perverse sort of pleasure in Galinda's supposed pain, although Galinda seemed to be taking just as much glee in Elphaba's displacement-fueled discomfort. The two only crossed wands once, a skirmish involving a renegade moth, the fraying of Elphaba's already frayed nerves, and Galinda's attempts to blast the moth out of the air. The blonde excused herself to bed after that, leaving Elphaba to toss and turn on their hideously pink and rather uncomfortable for sleeping shared couch.

The next morning the moths were gone, but they had left holes in three fourths of Elphaba's clothing. Holes, the green witch discovered to her utter dismay, could not be fixed by magic. Galinda offered, in a sickly syrupy tone of voice, to take Elphaba shopping after work that night. She got a slammed door and angry muttering as her reward.

Animosity between the two young ladies simmered for the rest of the week as Elphaba tried to repair the damage to her clothing. Of the three fourths of her clothing that was month-damaged, she managed to repair about three quarters. The rest was turned into patching material. Elphaba was nothing if not thrifty, having learnt over the years how to make her clothing last for years when her father would not buy her anything else. It took her the rest of the week to repair the damage—the result was that her clothes, already a bit shabby, looked patchier than usual.

But they would have to do.

Galinda, of course, was mortified. "You look like a werewolf!" she exclaimed one morning, unable to help herself, as Elphaba turned to leave for work in one of her newly-patched robes.

"_Excuse_ me?" Elphaba asked, her tone even icier than usual.

Galinda continued on regardly. "The patches on your clothing. They were already horrificusly ratty to begin with! And now they are _rattier_!" She shuddered delicately. "It practically screams homeless, jobless werewolf! It's already bad enough you're green!"

"I'd rather look like a werewolf than be a spoiled princess," the green witch spat, readjusting her briefcase. "And I'll thank _you _not to be so horribly stereotypical about werewolf kind!" And she left the apartment in a swish of patched black robes.

"I was just trying to help," Galinda sniffed to the closed door.

* * *

Elphaba's potions and oils went missing the following Monday. They had been lined up along the bottom shelf in the medicine cabinet in little brown bottles. There had been a bottle of special burn relief potion sitting on the kitchen counter in case of accidents. Elphaba discovered they were missing when she went to clean herself before the workday.

She question Galinda when she emerged from her bedroom, sleep-rumpled and morning weary.

"Did you move my oils?" she asked, baring Galinda access from the bathroom.

"I haven't touched your stupid oils!" Galinda spat. A pre-coffee Galinda was not a pleasant Galinda.

"Well they aren't on their shelf," Elphaba told her, refusing to move. She was taller than Galinda by a good two heads, maybe more, and years of hauling books up and down the stairs of Hogwarts had given her the stance of an ox.

"Maybe the poltergeist got them," Galinda growled, trying to push her way past Elphaba to no avail. Elphaba flinched a bit at the contact but remained firm in the bathroom doorway.

"Well, good for the poltergeist." Elphaba did not take the bait. "Rather unfortunate for you, however, considering as I now lack the appropriate capacities to bathe, and I just spent the remains of my pay check on replacement supplies from when the _poltergeist _made my mugs and food disappear. I shall reek for days!"

Galinda shrieked in horror and Elphaba cackled.

When Elphaba returned home from work, the bottles had reappeared.

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**A/N:** It's still technically Friday, shhhhh.

What did you guys think? :) Next week, things get even dicier, so stay tuned!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I should have posted this yesterday...Things got away from me, sorry. But without furthur ado, enjoy the fic!

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_A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 7_

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Elphaba was tired. The past two weeks of 'poltergeist' activity had drained her of her patience, her coffers, and her stamina. She did not eat much to begin with so her lack of meals for several days had depleted any of the fat she had on her lean, wiry frame. A night on the couch and several more late nights repairing her clothes had left her sleep deprived, which only further added to her lack of stamina brought about by not eating.

Her lack of stamina, combined with the dangerous low levels of her bank account and a poor week of sleep had left her even more short and acerbic than usual. She hated feeling weak, and she directed most of her animosity towards her roommate. She tried to control both her magic and her temper, but Galinda found herself on the end of progressively harsher comments and the occasional wandlessly cracked coffee mug. Thankfully, Galinda did not seem to hold it against her, or even realize it was Elphaba's waning temper that was the cause of her broken mugs and the green witch's increasingly sharp words.

When Elphaba returned home that night of their fifth week of cohabitation from her weekly Friday adventure into the Muggle world, she was annoyed to find that the apartment was not empty. Or as empty as if could be with her bubbly blond roommate roaming it, warbling along horribly to Celestia Warbeck as she mixed her weekly batch of Sleekeazy Hair Potion. But, sadly, it was not Galinda's horrible singing that met her ears as she stepped over the threshold. No, it was a sound that Elphaba hated, if possible, even more.

The sound of high-pitched giggling and the sound of clinking tea cups.

Galinda's frivolous and highly aggravating friends, Pfanne and ShenShen, were sitting on the couch, sipping tea and nattering.

Elphaba's week, if possible, had just gotten worse.

An awkward silence reigned as Elphaba stood in the doorway for a moment. Then, head held high, she swept haughtily into the apartment, kicking the door closed behind her with a booted foot. She ignored the blatant stares of the three seated girls as she went to the kitchen, still in her boots and frock coat, where she began unpacking her meager canvas bag of groceries.

"Are those _Muggle_ tins?" One of Galinda's friends simpered. Elphaba could not tell which one it was, but she thought it was Pfanne. She was the one who liked to made snide comments about Elphaba's dress, hair, and skin the most.

"Of yes it is," Galinda replied to Pfanne's question before Elphaba could open her mouth to offer up a cutting remark. "She's quite eccentric, Miss Elphaba. Goes out of the way to shop in the _Muggle_ world, she does."

Pfanne and ShenShen gasped. Elphaba rolled her eyes. If they had flunked out of Hogwarts, the two could have become marvelous actresses. The green witch said nothing, however, and finished putting away her tins of tuna and boxes of instant oatmeal. Then she took her empty bag to the hall closet and hung it and her coat inside.

The three girls whispered amongst themselves as she did, watching her as she moved through the shared living space. Elphaba was used to such treatment; whispers and stares had followed her all her life-through childhood, school, and even now at the Ministry. She had learned over the years that the best thing to do was let the words roll off her back and move on. It was the best way, if not the most direct, of handling it.

But tonight, she was grouchy. She was tired and had not eaten lunch—all she wanted to do was to eat her meager dinner in peace and then retire to her room to read. But since the apartment had been invaded by virtual strangers, Elphaba was certain she would not get to eat in anything close to peace with ShenShen and Pfanne around. She briefly considered taking her dinner in her room, but Galinda would probably blow a gasket, as she often did whenever Elphaba broke one of her precious rules.

"Have the gas lamps sprung a leak?" Elphaba instead inquired testily, referring to the incessant whispering coming from across the room. "There seems to be a great deal of hissing in this room tonight."

The whispering stopped for a moment, then increased in volume. Elphaba bit back an annoyed growl and stalked past them, intent on holing up in her room and reading until Galinda's friends left. She flung open the door to her room and stopped dead, one foot in the doorway, paralyzed by what she found inside.

Her books—the keepers of her life, lies, secrets, hopes, ambitions, and dreams, bringers of knowledge and wisdom and _escape_—lay scattered across the floor. Some were torn, their covers dangling by a thread of binding. Others were splayed open, pages bent and torn, boot scuffs clearly present on their parchment. Paper littered the floor, pages from the books no doubt, shorn and shredded into tiny bits that lay across the surface of everything like perverse, off-white snow.

Elphaba could not tear her eyes from the scene. She did not see her upended bed or destroyed clothes, did not notice the shattered window or cracked plaster walls. All she had eyes for were her books—her precious, precious books. Now destroyed and littering her floor.

Static crackled at her green fingertips and she could hear her blood pumping in her ears as her horror quickly turned to anger. Her eyes narrowed in one something pink, and she carefully picked her way through the debris to pick it up. She examined it, the pink a strange contrast against the emerald of her palm. The object was a flower barrette, one that Elphaba has seen Galinda wearing this morning at work.

The green witch quickly put the puzzle pieces together and she practically saw red.

Finally, she had proof. Proof that is was Galinda who had been making her life Hell for the past two weeks. It was Galinda who had been stealing her things, destroying her clothes, and now—Elphaba quickly hurried over to her upended bed, looking for her mother's bottle. She ripped apart her pillows and, finding nothing there, proceeded to strip the bed sheets, drive her hands into the mattress, and with a strength reservoir unknown to even her, she heaved the crumpled bedframe aside to check there, her actions becoming more frantic as her search revealed nothing.

In desperation, she whipped out her wand and cried out, _"Accio bottle!"_

There was no flash of green that came whizzing towards her, only the quiet hush of a now suspiciously quiet apartment.

Galinda had taken the bottle. Galinda has taken Elphaba's most prized possession, ruined her library collection, and was now probably patting herself on the back while drinking tea with her conniving, frivolous fanclub.

Wand spitting sparks, the green witch turned and stalked towards the door.

Elphaba had had enough.

Galinda would pay.

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**A/N**: Post your bets, post your bets here! Showdown of the century next week! Who will win?


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Greetings, loyal listeners! ...Viewers...Readers? Yes, readers. Greetings, loyal readers! Here I am, updating late Friday night again. Really have to stop meeting like this. (Although, if you're sensible, you'll be in bed like I should be and you'll be reading this Saturday morning.)

Enjoy everyone!

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_A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 8_

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_Galinda had taken the bottle. Galinda has taken Elphaba's most prized possession, ruined her library collection, and was now probably patting herself on the back while drinking tea with her conniving, frivolous fanclub._

_Wand spitting sparks, the green witch turned and stalked towards the door._

_Elphaba had had enough._

_Galinda would pay._

_._

_._

_._

The three young ladies sitting on the couch were waiting in silent, eager anticipation for the green witch's reaction. For, of course, it had been them all along. ShenShen and Pfanne had been behind the disappearing food, and Galinda had been the one responsible for the missing oils and the cloth-eating moths. Galinda _had, _after all, gotten an _Exceeds Expectations_ in Charms, and had gone on to be one of the highest in the Charms section of her N.E.W.T.s….Elphaba had, of course, gotten perfect scores on everything she took, including Charms. This little fact still vexed the blonde to no end; Charms had been the one class she occasionally did better than Elphaba in.

Not one of the three women made a sound, their breaths drawn, their hands clenched tightly in their laps to prevent them from fighting. A long hush fell over the apartment, and then there was a crash from the direction of Elphaba's room.

ShenShen giggled nervously. Pfanne shushed her, giving Galinda a gleeful look. Galinda all of a sudden felt horrible, a pit forming in her stomach, making her suddenly and inexplicably nauseous. This had not been her idea. It had been Pfanne's. Galinda had gone along at the time but now…

Why was she feeling like this? She hated her green roommate and wanted her gone!

….Or did she?

Galinda did not have long to ponder this sudden and rather traitorous thoughts as a towering green figure of pure, unadulterated fury swept out of Elphaba's room and towards them at great speed. Galinda instinctively reached for her wand, but it was flying out of her hand before she could scarcely form the beginnings of a Shield spell in her mind. There was a loud bang and Galinda was sent flying backwards, toppling head over pink pointy Muggle heels off the edge of the couch where she had perched and into the end table that held the wireless.

She heard Pfanne and ShenShen squeal like stuck pigs as the sound of metal on metal—like wire, almost—briefly filled the small room. Galinda did not have time to dwell on it though, or even glance over to see the fate of two friends, as quicker than she could blink Elphaba had crossed the room and hauled her to her feet, slamming her back into the wall and pressing her long, ebony wand into Galinda's juglar.

"I've giving you exactly five seconds to tell me what you've done with my mother's bottle before I make you wish you'd never been born," the green witch in front of her hissed. They were nose to nose; Elphaba was stronger than she appeared, or maybe she was magically augmented. Galinda did not know; all she knew was that her feet were dangling helplessly, there was a wand pressed into her neck by a very angry witch, and she had no idea what on earth Elphaba was talking about.

"B-Bottle?" the blonde stammered, hating how weak she sounded. She did not know anything about a bottle, but whatever it was, it was obviously more important to Elphaba than her books.

"Don't pretend you don't know!" Elphaba's wand dug harder into her skin and Galinda whimpered involuntarily. "It's not in my room, which you've destroyed, and I know it was you because your damn hairclip was on the floor!"

"I r-really don't know what you're talking about!" she whined, not daring to move or try to wiggle free. Elphaba's gaze darkened, and her wand dug even harder into Galinda neck.

_And then Galinda was back in Elphaba's room, or rather was standing in the doorway, as she watched Pfanne and ShenShen wreck the place. She saw Pfanne turn her wand towards the circular piece of green glass hanging in the window._

_"No!" Galinda heard herself say, her wand whipping out and stopping the shattering spell that was hurtled towards the glass. _

_"What gives, Galinda?" Pfanne hissed. "I thought you wanted her to leave!"_

_"We want her angry, not homicidal," Galinda heard herself reply. "She really likes that stupid piece of glass for some reason."_

_Pfanne huffed and stalked over the bed, where Shenshen was looking at something she had found. Galinda at the time had not been interested in what they had found, but now she watched ShenShen show Pfanne a small green bottle she had found under the pillows. Then she watched Pfanne take it and tuck it into her robes and—_

Suddenly she was back in the apartment common room. Or rather, on the floor of the apartment common room. Elphaba had dropped her in favor of going over to the couch, to which she had bound Galinda's two friend with wires. She held her wand aimed directly at Pfanne's nose and said very slowly, deliberately, deathly,

_"Where is it?"_

Pfanne showed much more courage than Galinda would have in the situation. She actually had the gal to simper up at Elphaba and sneer, "Well it appears the artichoke is steamed."

Elphaba was not in the mood. She stepped closer, towering over the bound Pfanne, her wand spitting angry sparks. "You have five seconds to tell me where it is. And Merlin or God or whomever you believe in help you if you've broken it, you imbecilic twit of a woman."

Pfanne merely smirked at her and leaned back.

"Five."

Nothing.

"Four."

Silence.

"Three."

Galinda could see the steel in Elphaba eyes. She had not been kidding. She really would curse Pfanne if she did not tell her—

"Two."

Still, Pfanee said nothing, simply sitting there with a smug, self-satisfied smirk plastered over her face.

"One."

Galinda saw the tip of Elphaba's wand start to glow with a uncast spell. No she wouldn—

"Zero."

Nothing.

Elphaba flicked her wand disdainfully at Pfanne. "Have it your way. _Cru-"_

"Elphaba, don't!"

The spell died on the green witch's lips and she turned to look at Galinda, her eyebrows furrowed, mouth set, anger radiating from every orifice of her being. Galinda did not know what had made her shout out for her to stop—she did not feel any sympathy for Pfanne. The girl was being stupid. She should just give Elphaba the damn bottle! No, something else made her cry out, something she did not know but it seemed to—

_"Stupefy!"_ Elphaba jerked back around to Pfanne and narrowly missed the jet of red light that the girl had sent her way. Pfanne had taken advantage of Elphaba's distraction to wiggle her wand out of her pocket and free herself. Immediately the two witches were embroiled in a fierce duel, missed spells going everywhere and causing carnage in their path. The walls split, the windows shattered, and the floating lights in the kitchen exploded.

Galinda squealed as glass rained down on them all, and she crawled over to her fallen wand. She checked ShenShen, who was still wrapped up tightly on the couch, her eyes wide and frightened. The blonde turned her attention to the two dueling witches, brandished her wand wildly, and shouted, _"Stupefy!"_

The look on ShenShen's face as Galinda's stunner hit her full in the chest was priceless. Her eyes immediately rolled up into her head and she dropped to the floor, unconscious. Elphaba's wand immediately jerked towards Galinda, but the blonde tossed her wand to the floor and help up her hands.

A long, tense silence filled the destroyed common area.

"Just get your stupid bottle!" Galinda said in a rush. Elphaba kept her wand trained on Galinda for a second longer, then she dropped her wand arm and instead bent down and frisked Pfanne. The blonde let out a little sigh of relief, but another little wave of fear seized her—what if Pfanne did not have the bottle anymore? What if it was broken? What would—

Galinda's fears were unfounded, however, as Elphaba straightened a minute later, holding a small green bottle to her chest. Galinda had never seen such a look of relief on anybody, let alone her stoic, seemingly emotionless roommate. Elphaba gave the bottle a squeeze, then tucked it carefully into her robes. Then, at lightening speeds, her wand moved again, and the bounds holding ShenShen were severed.

ShenShen squeaked. Galinda's eyes widened. Elphaba scowled.

"Leave," she intoned darkly, gesturing with her wand towards the door, her tone indicating she meant business and that ShenShen would not like the consequences if she refused.

ShenShen looked over at Galinda, who nodded softly. "You'd….better go. And…um… take Pfanne."

Galinda helped ShenShen revive Pfanne, who, even after being brought about, looked worse for wear. She slung Pfanne's arm around ShenShen's shoulder and stepped back. ShenShen, grasped Pfanne's wand in one hand, hers in the other, and after giving Galinda one last, fearful look, she turned on her heel and Disapperated with a crack.

…leaving Galinda alone to deal with the aftermath of a prank gone horribly, horribly wrong.

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**A/N:** I like reviews. Reviews are nice. :)


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: It has come to my attention that I flubbed my own canon back in Chapter 5. Oops. Chuffrey is the Junior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic. Not the Senior Undersecretary. TheSenior Undersecretary position goes to….well…. you'll find out. ;) Although you probably already have an inkling.

The mistake has been fixed, but for all of those reading along at home, please take note of this canon shift!

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_A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 9_

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_Several Months Earlier..._

Elphaba kept the brim of her steep witches hat low over her eyes as she stepped into the lift of the Ministry for Magic. The button for the first floor was already pushed, so she receded into the back of the elevator and kept her eyes on the briefcase in her hands, ignoring the three other witches and wizards who were shooting her not-so-subtle curious looks. Elphaba was used to such treatment after nearly fifteen years of being conscious of the glances, the ridicule, and names.

The lift shuttered down a floor and dinged open. Elphaba swept off the elevator before any of the other occupants could scarcely move. She scanned the directory of the floor, then set off towards the Secretarial Office with a purpose in her stride. The office was partway down the hall, marked with a gleaming bronze sign set into an oak doorframe. The young witch marched in and came face to face with a plump woman with dark brown hair and magenta robes.

"Yes, how may I help you—oh!" the woman began, but stopped as she took in Elphaba's appearance.

"My name is Elphaba Thropp and I'm here to meet with the Undersecretary of the Minister for Magic to discuss the parameters regarding my internship."

The woman behind the desk fussed. "Oh yes, dear, of course but—dear—dear are you quite aware that you are….well, my dear, you're positively green!"

Elphaba's expression, already one of annoyance, turned hard. "Yes, I am quite aware. Will you please alert the Undersecretary of my arrival instead of gawping at my appearance like a Hogwarts first year?"

The woman frowned. "There's no need to be nasty about it. If you wish to work here at the Ministry, the first thing you are going to need to learn is _manners!_"

The young witch was just thinking about pulling out her wand and cursing the woman into oblivion when the woman scribbled on her memo pad then charmed the paper to fold into a paper airplane. With a flick of the woman's wand the newly formed airplane zipped on out the door. "She will be informed momentarily. Dear, would you like me to…?" she gestured at Elphaba's green skin, obviously intent on trying to charm the color away.

"It has already been attempted many times, ma'am, I doubt your charm would do much besides give me an awful headache."

The woman looked a bit affronted, but set her wand aside. "Very well. The Undersecretary will be with you shortly, Miss….Thropp."

"Thank you." Elphaba settled in one of the indicated chairs that lined a sidewall and set her briefcase at her feet. She pulled from within it a battered novel that she immediately set about getting lost in it. She had read this particular novel half a dozen times, but she was in transition between Hogwarts and the Ministry. Her father had cut her off long ago, never having given her much to begin with, and what little money she had saved up was going to her food. Sometimes Nessa slipped her a few coins from her own allowance, but these instances were few and far between, and Elphaba had learned not to rely on them.

She had been reading for perhaps ten minutes when a booming voice called out, "Miss Elphaba! How wonderful to see you again, dear!"

Elphaba looked up, unsurprised to see the squat, powdered figure of her old Hogwarts Headmistress standing before her. The woman was dressed in robes made of some sort of foreign silk—privately, Elphaba thought that she was taking her leave from Hogwarts to dress as an excuse to wear the most ridiculous of clothing ensembles imaginable. Even Elphaba, who had no fashion sense whatsoever, knew a fashion monstrosity when she saw it.

"Professor Morrible," she said instead, rising quickly to her long, lanky legs. She dwarfed the woman, but Morrible seemed to take it all in stride.

"Oh, none of that, we're no longer at Hogwarts!" Morrible exclaimed, her arms gesticulating as if to wave away the silly notion. "We're colleagues, or soon to be! Madame Morrible, if you must, dear."

"Of course." Elphaba picked up her briefcase, for the time storing her novel inside her robes. "My apologies."

"Not to worry, not to worry! Now, I'm certain you are ready to discuss your internship with me! Lets abscond to my office, where we can talk about the particulars!"

Elphaba followed the squat woman through the grand hallways of the Ministry Of Magic to a door marked with a shined gold plaque that read 'Madame Morrible – Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic'. Madame Morrible ushered her inside, past the desk of an plump older man with coiffed snow white hair.

"Oh, Miss Elphaba, this is Chuffrey, my Junior Undersecretary. Chuffrey, this is Miss Elphaba Thropp, one of the interns you will have the pleasure of working with this next quarter!"

Chuffrey was only slightly taken aback by the color of Elphaba's skin tone, but he quickly covered it up with a smooth smile and an extended hand. "A pleasure, Miss Thropp. I have heard great things."

Elphaba took his hand briefly, seeing right past his oily politician manner. She responded cooly, "I have not had the pleasure of such preknowledge."

Chuffrey laughed. "You're honest, at least. I look forward to working with you."

The green witch inclined her head. "Likewise."

Madame Morrible cut the introduction short, chivvying Elphaba into her office. The room was clad in gaudy oriental silks and clashing reds and greens. Elphaba did not think possible as from what she knew from her studies, red and green were complimentary colors, but apparently she was mistaken. Madame Morrible set her in a chair in front of the desk and waved her stubby, and somehow equally as gaudy, wand. A tea pot, tea cups, and saucers appeared on the desk.

"Tea?" she asked, rather unnecessarily.

"Thank you." Elphaba preferred coffee over tea, but she would take the stewed leaf juice in a pinch.

"Cream? Sugar?"

"No, thank you."

Madame Morrible, if she was perturbed by Elphaba's lack of tea additions, said nothing. Elphaba sipped at the tea, trying not to make a face. It was not even her preferred blend of tea—although she doubted Morrible would have such blends of tea, as her favorite blend was in fact Muggle in origin. Morrible added a small mountain of sugar and far more cream than necessary and took a long draught. Seemingly refreshed, she turned to the issue at hand.

"Now, Miss Elphaba, let us talk about your internship." Elphaba sat up a little straighter. "Your entrance scores were, of course, excellent. You earned some of the highest marks in years! I expected no less, of course. As such, you have been awarded an internship along with another lucky girl here in my office this quarter. If you continue to perform excellently, as you most probably will, we will continue your internship for the rest of the year, and if we continue to like what we see, we will bring you into the Ministry full time."

Elphaba nodded. She had figured as much.

"Now, as I said, you will be working in my office. Most of this time I will be away attending to my matters at Hogwarts, so Chuffrey will be stepping in to fill my position. You and the other girl will be working under him, doing his duties in his stead and some other secretarial duties." Morrible paused to take another long draught of her tea, and Elphaba remembered to sip hers. "The Ministry will be putting the two of you up in an apartment in a Wizarding community here in London proper, so there is no need to worry about Muggle neighbors. The Ministry will be paying for the apartment, and you will receive a small allowance for food and other such necessities every two weeks. I trust you have no problem budgeting?"

Elphaba looked down at her robes—they were not new by any standards, but at least they did not have patches. "No. I am…quite used to budgeting."

Morrible nodded. "Good, good! Now you'll be sharing the apartment with a roommate, most likely the other girl in the office, but not to worry." She leaned across the desk, her voice hushed, as if someone could possibly hear them in this room. "I, personally, do not believe this other girl has what it takes to work in the Ministry. However the Minister was most insistent. He liked her spark. So she will be working alongside you. I do not, however, expect her to last very long."

The Senior Undersecretary smiled horribly and leaned back to a normal sitting position. "Do you have any questions?"

"Yes. When may I move in to the apartment?" Elphaba did not want to stay in her father's house a moment longer than necessary.

"Eager to start, are we?" Morrible smiled again, but no less unsettling. "You may move in the week before the internship begins, so the week before the first of September. I take it you will be showing your sister onto the Hogwarts Express?"

Elphaba thought of her wheelchair-bound sister and nodded. "I will be assisting my sister and her nanny to Kings Cross Station, but her nanny will be the one riding with her to Hogwarts in my stead."

Morrible seemed pleased with this arrangement, for some strange reason. "Very good. You'll receive the address and key to your apartment via Owl Post."

"Of course."

"Any other questions?"

"Not at this time, Madame."

Morrible smiled and stood, extending her hand over the table. "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic, Miss Elphaba."

Elphaba took her hand. "I would not be here without your invitation, Madame. I thank you for your generosity."

"Oh, my dear, the thanks are all mine."

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**A/N:** Woah, I'm updating early on a Friday morning. What is this madness?! Hope everyone liked the chapter. Sorry for the cliffy I left you off on. I promise, next week, there will be a resolution to the tense apartment scene I left you all on. In the meantime, leave me a review telling me what you thought of this chapter?


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Not a lot to say this week. Enjoy!

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_A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 10_

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_Galinda helped ShenShen revive Pfanne, who, even after being brought about, looked worse for wear. She slung Pfanne's arm around ShenShen's shoulder and stepped back. ShenShen, grasped Pfanne's wand in one hand, hers in the other, and after giving Galinda one last fearful look, she turned on her heel and Disapperated with a crack._

_…leaving Galinda alone to deal with the aftermath of a prank gone horribly, horribly wrong._

_._

_._

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After the two girls left, a strange hush fell over the apartment. It was one of those awkward silences that made a person squirm. Elphaba stood, calmly surveying the destruction the duel had brought. Galinda turned and looked, too.

The window had been blown out, furniture had been upturned, and there were several giant cracks in the wall. Four of the six hanging glow lamps had been destroyed, making the room dim. A fine layer of dust seemed to be everywhere. Galinda swallowed. Dueling Club had always taken place in a confined room with very little to destroy; anything that was not bolted down was enchanted so it could not be hit by flying spells. To see what destruction less than a minute of dueling could bring was harrowing. It also gave her a newfound respect for her roommate, who did not seem to have a scratch on her tall, lanky frame.

She saw Elphaba move out of the corner of her eye, and she whirled around to see Elphaba taking her wand out of her pocket.

"H-Hey!" Galinda exclaimed, suddenly scared. She was wandless and practically defenseless. All she had was her body, and as previous encounters with Elphaba had shown, the green witch had both the height and muscle advantage over her. "W-What do you think y-you're—?"

_"Reparo." _

Galinda watched as shards of glass flew back into window pane and became a seamless whole. Elphaba went around, silently correcting the destruction the duel had caused. She watched, awestruck, as the green witch preformed a bit of complicated and extremely advanced magic to reform the floating lights and conjure the everlasting fire that burned within them. The lights, once she Charmed them back into place, were even brighter than the ones the apartment had come with.

Elphaba looked at the room, which had now been righted to its former glory, then without another word turned and stalked back to her room. Which, Galinda realized with a shudder, had also been destroyed, but not by a duel.

The blonde felt awful, a crushing guilt sweeping over and enveloping her. She had let her petty hatred get in the way of her common sense. She had never actively sought to destroy someone's personal belongs before—and for what? A stupid grudge? A tiny feud? Elphaba was not all that bad, now that Galinda had spent a month actively living with her. She kept to the rules and kept to herself, and behind that mean, green exterior Elphaba did actually seem to genuinely care about some things. And not just books—Galinda had caught her muttered angrily to herself about Werewolf and Non Human rights several times as she read the Evening Prophet, and she had told one of the boys down in the Auror office off last week for talking bad about a Turned Auror behind his back.

The Hogwarts rumor mill, Galinda had come to discover, had blown her negative traits way out of proportion, and had said nothing about her good traits. As many times these things often do.

Driven by the pooling guilt in her stomach, Galinda felt herself walking down the hallway to Elphaba's room. The door was open, and she stepped gingerly inside. Elphaba had already righted the bed, and was currently sifting through the scattered pages and books so she could repair the books. When she noticed Galinda's presence, her figure grew stiff.

"Haven't you already done enough?" she asked in a low, dangerous voice.

"Can I cut in?" Galinda asked softly, kneeling down next to Elphaba in the book wreckage. She knew what she had to do to make amends. Quickly, she picked up a couple of loose sheets of book paper and looked at them, deemed them to go together by the similar typeface and parchment style, and then looked for the book the pages belonged to. Elphaba watched as Galinda found the book, found where the pages belonged, and fixed it, good as new, with a quick spell.

"There!" The blonde held out the book to the green witch, who slowly took it.

"Thank….you?" It was more of a question, but Galinda had already gone and picked up more pages and was matching them to more books. The fact that she was not using magic to sort the pages told Elphaba all she needed to know.

For the rest of the night, they slowly brought order to Elphaba's destroyed room.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, Galinda worked to form a bond with her roommate. She forced Pfanne and ShenShen to apologize the next day, and then the following Monday asked her to join them at lunch. Elphaba declined, of course, even when Galinda offered to pay. She did not need Galinda's charity, thank you very much, and she certainly did not want to spend time with the two twittering buffoons. Galinda left her to her tuna and crackers, feeling a bit put out by the whole ordeal.

"She's just trying to be nice," a voice said from the doorway, startling Elphaba and causing her to look up from her book. It was Boq, who had been an acquaintance from childhood and later had become probably the closest thing she had to a friend at Hogwarts. He had been one of a handful of people—two of which had been Nessa and Nanny—who had not outright despised and shunned her very presence. He had also spent a fair amount their Hogwarts years (and beyond) avidly seeking—and failing to win—the hand of her fair-haired roommate.

Boq was half-human half-goblin, and next to Elphaba, he looked even shorter. Somehow, despite his mixed heritage, he had managed to acquire a position in the Ministry as an Auror. It was probably because he had Elphaba as a Dueling partner back in their Hogwarts days, and as such he was one of the better duelers in Britain.

"Save your idle prattle, Boq, I don't wish to hear it today."

The short man huffed and walked into the room anyway. "You could at least try to accept her form of an apology."

"Apologies are pointless."

"Probably because you've never received a meaningful one in your life." Elphaba had received few, if any apologies over her eighteen years of existence and therefore she found them rather useless. She had learned that along with fear and regret, apologies were probably the most pointless thing she had ever encountered, and she strode to avoid all three at all cost.

"Do you have a point?" the green woman snapped, eager to return to her book and her lunch.

"Just give her a chance, Elphaba."

The green woman snorted, recalling the years of Galinda spawned rumors and pranks. "She lost any _chance_ she had with me a long time ago."

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**A/ N:** Reviews are love and make me happy.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** "It's not a Friday!" you cry! "Toasty, why are you posting a chapter today?" you implore! Patience, dear readers, I will explain. (Although I don't know why you are complaining.)

I am coming up into midterms week here at college, and as such my life for the next two and a half weeks is going to go bye-bye as I try not to fail my mid-terms. (This is what we call fun.) So I'm taking a fic-internet-life hiatus until Halloween. But I did not want to leave you guys in the dark, wondering what the Oz happened to my fic. So I'm posting this chapter early, in hopes that you all will forgive me.

There will be no update on Oct 18 or Oct 25. Regular chapter postings will hopefully return November 1st!

Enjoy the early chapter, you guys!

(_**Warning,**_ towards the bottom there is a bit of ~strong language~ because angry Elphaba is a swearing Elphaba. Also a bit of squicky wound stuff, but nothing too bad.)

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_A Surprise Apartment Assignment of Fate - Chapter 11_

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_Approximately Two Years Previously..._

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"You know, I hear pure water can melt her!" Sixth Year Hufflepuff Galinda Upland whispered to her cohort of friends, who giggled in unison. The Hufflepuff table was generally misconstrued as the nicest, quietest table at Hogwarts. This was inherently not true. The Hufflepuffs, if anything, liked a good gossip more than anything else. The current object of their gossip, Elphaba Thropp, was sitting with her back to them, eating porridge and reading her potions textbook.

"No way," said someone from down the table. "That's just some silly old rumor!"

"Oh—no—I have it on the best accounts," the blonde assured them, a picture of confidence. "One of her dormmates says that she never bathes."

"Ewwwwwwwww!"

"I know!" Galinda was flourishing in the presence of getting to gossip about her not-so-favorite human being. "Instead of showering like a regular human being, she uses oils or something."

"Is that why she always looks shiny?"

"You know gossip is a sin, right?" Nessarose had arrived to breakfast, her Nanny pushing her chair. The slight Ravenclaw was afflicted with the unfortunate malady of having no arms with which to push or stabilize herself. She was pitied by many in the school, and envied by others, because she never had to write a note herself. That job was instead up to her Nanny, who, among other things, helped push the girl around, take notes, and help her read her textbooks. Nessarose Thropp never seemed to care for anyone's pity or envy—she was too busy with her faith and her studies to care much of else.

"While my sister is no doubt in need of God," Nessarose was continuing, "I would thank you not to tarnish her already quite blemished name. Only God can judge her in the end." She gave a little nod of her head, and her Nanny pushed her down the row between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables until they found a spot where the two of them could sit together.

"Man, I hate that preachy little bitch," someone muttered from the Gryffindor table behind them. "Who the hell does she think she is, anyway?"

There were murmurs of assent from the surrounding students. The Thropp sisters were not at all popular at Hogwarts. Elphaba for her acerbity and her skin tone, Nessarose for her handicap and her faith. They were, of course, a favorite topic of gossip and rumor. Nobody knew the reason for Elphaba's skin tone or Nessarose's handicap, but that did not stop the rumor mill from spinning out ideas. They were, of course, all wrong, but the only three who knew were not telling.

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_The Next Day..._

"Hey, Thropp!"

Galinda looked up from where she was elbow deep in dragon dung for Herbology. N.E.W.T.s level Herbology was not exactly her favorite class, but she had gained the Exceeds Expectations required and her Popsie had wanted her to take it. So she did, but only after her father had bribed her with a new winter cloak. It was pink, trimmed with Puffskein fur, and magically augmented to keep the cold out. It was her favorite, and she wore it out as often as she could.

But the thought of her cloak left her mind as she saw two Gryffindors, the hulking beaters for the Qudditch team, standing in front of Elphaba's work station. The green girl in question was studiously ignoring them, her focus primarily on the Flutterby bush which she was transplanting.

"Hey, we're talkin' to you!"

She finally looked up, annoyance etched on every angle of her long, green face. "Yes?"

"Little birdies told us you were allergic to water!" One of the Gryffindor boys said with bravado.

"And I'm certain that asinine observation came from one perfectly idiotic and currently eavesdropping birdie named Galinda Upland." The blonde flushed and looked down at her own Flutterby bush. Idiotic was she?! She could think of some words to describe Elphaba herself, and none of them were at all pleasant. "Did she put you up to this? This attempted harassment?"

"She didn't put us up to nothin'."

"Yeah, we came on our own accord."

"Yes, because I'm certain two oafs like yourself are capable of free thought," the green girl sneered. Galinda's blood boiled. Why did she have to be so mean all the time?! What a bitch!

Then there was the sound of a scuffle and a shouted curse, and then the worst sound Galinda she had ever heard. The sound of sizzling flesh. The sizzle was quickly followed by a bloodcurdling scream as Elphaba reeled back, clutching her face. Some brave soul tried to assist her but she hexed them and tore out of the greenhouse, but not before the entire room had seen the damage—ugly purple and red welts which bubbled up from her green skin, making her even more hideous than before.

The greenhouse erupted into chatter, and it took several firecrackers from the end of the Herbology professor's wand before they quieted down.

"What happened?" The Herbology professor asked after the class settled.

One of the Gryffindor boys who had confronted Elphaba, and had no doubt caused the reaction to her face, shrugged. "Guess she really is allergic to water after all."

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The Slytherin Common Room was a constant exercise in anxiety for Elphaba. Being in such close proximity to water—even if it was behind three feet of magically reinforced glass, always made her nervous. And she had good reason to be, when contact with water quite literally burned her. However, it was the closet place to sanctuary she could find at such short notice, and it was to there she fled.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Elphaba staggered to a halt in front of the stone wall that held the secret entrance to the Slytherin Common Room. Her face felt like it had been branded. The pain was almost unbearable, and she was frankly surprised she could walk, let alone stand. Biting her cheek harder in an attempt to focus the pain there, the green girl hissed the password to the common door opened after a moment and Elphaba flew inside.

The common room was miraculously empty, as most of the Slytherins were in class. Elphaba slunk into the girl's dormitory, where she quickly hurried to the room she shared with the other Slytherin sixth year girls. She rummaged blindly in her trunk for her potions and oils, and once she found them, she shakily opened one and poured nearly the entire contents onto a rag. Staggering to the bathroom to find a mirror, she carefully pressed the potion-soaked rag to her burned face.

The almost blinding pain began to recede somewhat as the potion numbed her nerves and began to heal the damage. Elphaba pulled the cloth away to survery the damage. Nasty welts covered most of the left side of her face; they spread up over the bridge of her nose and across the right porition of her forehead. The welts were oozing fliud as the potion healed them. Thankfully the water had missed her eyes, and the damage was relatively minimal, all things considering. The swelling had already started to go down, thanks to the potion.

Pressing the rag back to her face, Elphaba processed exactly what had happened.

The Gryffindor boys had come over, trying to start something. She had suspected it was just general Gryffindor-Slytherin rival buffoonery. She had ignored them, and when they had continued, she ridiculed them. And that was when one of them had Spelled a jet of water directly into her face.

Ozdamn Gryffindors. Elphaba's hand shook with her fury as she blotted healing potions and oils onto the angry welts on her face. Fucking Galinda Upland and her Ozdamned mouth! How the hell had she known? Elphaba had stopped paying attention to the Hogwarts rumor mill a long time ago, but maybe it would be good of her to pay attention to it once more, at least to find the source of the rumors. However she was fairly certain she already knew the source of this one.

If Galinda Upland wanted to go toe to toe with her, so be it. Two could play at this game.

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One impromptu duel in the Entrance Hall and a month of detentions later, neither Galinda Upland or Elphaba Thropp were at all pleased. Ninety hours of forced work together doing such menial labor as hand polishing the awards in the Trophy Room and scrubbing graffiti off of desks had, if anything, only made the two of them hate each other more.

Galinda, for her part, was right to be angry. Elphaba _had _attacked her out of nowhere in the Entrance Hall as she returned from Herbology. The duel that had ensued between them might have been one for the Hogwarts record books. In the end, it took three Professors to stop them from killing each other, and both of them were assigned three hours of detention a weekend day. The blonde was furious she was being punished for defending herself again Elphaba's rage, but even an appeal to her father via Owl Post could not get her out of the detentions. So she stewed and simmered, her resentment hardening with each passing detention and acerbic comment.

Elphaba was angry that she was being forced to spend time with the insufferable blonde after what she believed Galinda had perpetuated. There was, of course, no evidence that Galinda _had_ sent the two Gryffindor boys to splash water in her face and burn her. However that did not stop Elphaba from coming to the conclusion herself. The only justice in it all for her was that the two Gryffindor boys had been suspended. She had come close to near suspension herself, but Headmistress Morrible had given her some leniency, considering she was the star pupil of the school and had not actually used any lethal or Unforgivable Curses on Galinda when they had dueled. No, instead the Headmistress had decided it would be better for the both of them to work their differences out in detention for a month.

And a fat lot of good that had done.

The two of them parted ways after their month of detention and did not speak to each other again for the entirety of their remaining year and a half at Hogwarts. Galinda and Elphaba were quite happy after graduation with the thought of never having to see, hear, or speak to one another again.

That was, of course, until fate decided to throw them together in the same apartment for the same Ministry Internship they had unknowingly both applied for.

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**A/N:** I know I said earlier that Hogwarts wasn't going to really come into play in this fic...Oops, I lied. Sorry. This will probably be a one or two of its kind flashback, though. I promise that. I don't want to dwell on the past TOO much. So for all of you who don't like how I sorted G(a)linda and Elphaba (or Nessa...love me some Nessa), never fear, this will not be a regular occurrence!

Let me know what you think? I do love hearing from you all! :)


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